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| 1949 |
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Frank Edward Adams was born in Logan, West Virginia on December 16, 1949. |
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| 1969 |
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In 1969, Frank enlisted in the United States Army to serve his country. Our war with Vietnam was going on. Frank was stationed in Alabama and served for two years with the rank of Sp4. He was honorably discharged in 1971. |
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| 1987 |
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The year of 1987 was a very active year for Frank. Not only was he clean and sober for a full year, he met who would become the love of his life for the remainder of it. Her name, Susan Campbell. Though he never referred to her as Sue, (it was only Suzy), they began a bond which would be envious to most people. Sue or Suzy came with one big suitcase or "baggage" if you will. It's name was Michelle. Her only child who was 17 at the time and somewhat rebellious and non-accepting of any man her mother would bring home for her to meet. This would prove to be a challenge to Frank.....................but not for long! |
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| 1987-1989 |
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The late eighties can only be described as good times. There were so many dances, picnics, pig roasts, and camping that I can hardly recount them all. What was happening though was quite nice. Frankie and Sue were becoming closer and closer. EVERY friday and saturday they were guaranteed to go out dancing. They would get all gussied up and go "cut a rug" until the wee hours of the night. I look back and think of things such as Club 12, the six-foot sub, Jerry's dances, the diner with Uncle Michael and all of us. At this time, both Sue and Frankie were residing in Bridgeport........but not for long. Highlights of those years would be, Matthew was born, Uncle Michael moved to Kissimee Florida and Hank dumped me......lol. Frankie did have some words with Hank after he called me some rotten names. Little did I know this would only be the beginning of Pop's fatherly love and protection of me. Things he did not HAVE to do, but did. |
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| 1990-1995 |
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Hard to remember all of the events of these years. I know both Frank and Sue moved to different places. I know I was out on my own for the first time..........scary. I believe during this time Frankie drove a big white Suburban, which we all called the "Burban". Boy, he loved that truck. Him and Mommy would always just take off to Florida or go camping in Moodus, CT. They were always going somewhere those kooky kids. Anyone would be jealous of the fun they were having. They truly fit together like a hand in a glove. I really started devoloping a strong bond with Frankie. I knew he was a good man who would never hurt my mother. That's all I ever cared about in the first place. As long as she was happy, I was happy. There are many highlights of this time span. They both moved, I moved, Pop approached one of my "many" suitors with a 2x4, my mother and he helped me to get through one of the toughest things in my life. My maternal grandfather died on Dec. 12, 1992, my biological father died in April of 1993. Frankie was always there. Wherever, whenever, one could always count on him. He was now becoming even more of a father figure to me. It really felt good. Mom and he were inseperable. It was quite sickening at times, lol. Actually, I was so happy for her. She had such bad experiences with men, I was so pleased she had found true love. I was working at Three Door in Bridgeport and would always have them come in for Valentine's Day or birthdays and have a little special something for them. They would also always come in on holidays when I was working. It was so nice to be able to celebrate the holidays with them. Uncle Michael was now living in Apopka, Florida. I was still in my apartment in Bridgeport. Life was pretty good to all of us during those years. |
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| 1995-1999 |
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Ah, the mid-nineties. What a few years they were. So much happened, I hope I can remember it all. Sue and Frank took a BIG step. They moved in together in a lovely house in Monroe Connecticut. What a cute house. Frankie still had his beloved "Burban". In June of 1996 after dating Henry for only six months, Michelle found out she was pregnant! Frankie and Sue were going to be granparents!!!!!!! They were so excited, as were the parents to be. Bouncing Baby Brittany was born on March 9, 1997. Frankie was the first person at the hospital when Michelle went into labor. He was ALWAYS "Johnny on the spot" when it came to Michelle. Both Sue and Frank were ecstatic to help welcome into the world little Brittany. She would sleep over their house all the time. He would take her everywhere. He would feed her, play with her and do anything for her. The true epitome of a grandpa. Tragedy struck in 1998 when Sue's brother Paul passed away unexpectedly. Frankie was right by her side to help her mourn and get through a very hard time. On July 3, 1999 Frankie did me the honor of walking me down the aisle at my wedding. He gave me away. I was so proud to have him at my side. This was probably one of the best moments in my life. Somewhere in between this timeline, Frank and Sue took an even BIGGER leap. They bought a beautiful house together in Sandy Hook, CT. Though the yard needed some serious landscaping, the end result was one of magnificence. So many beautiful plants and fowers were strewn perfectly across their three plus acres of land. Truly, a picturesque scene. Unfortunately, Pop's beloved "Burban" bit the dust. He was then driving a Nissan truck. At this time he had finished working at the Stratford Marina and was working for Imagineers as a maintenance engineer. If something somewhere was broke, Pop would fix it. the knowledge he had regarding plumbing, electrical and building was unbelievable. Especially since he had no formal training in these areas. He was self taught and meticulous in everything he fixed. Almost ever weekend he would take Brittany to Agway to see the chickens and play in the hay. They were not only grandfather and grandchild they were, "buddies". |
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| 2000-2003 |
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The year 2000. What a crazy time for everyone. With the threat of Y2k and all of that nonsense. None of which bothered Pop. Everything was relatively easy that year. Brittany was three. We were living in a different apartment. Sue and Frank were living in Sandy Hook. When I think of Brittany's age at that time, I remember Frankie taking her to John's to but her a bacon, egg and cheese on a hard roll. Many, many weekends she spent with "Grams and Pop-Pop". He would always grill something on Saturdays. It was usually steak. Every now and then he would throw on a rotisserie chicken. Now THAT was eating! Towards the end of 2001, Brittany, Henry and I moved in with my in-laws.........no comment. I remember on Brittany's first day of preschool, a beautifully sunny day, the world stood still. That day I am referring to of course is 9/11. It was horrible. About a year after living with my in-laws I decided I had enough. I had no place to go.........for long. I believe my mother mentioned to Pop what was going on and without him skipping a beat he told her to tell Brittany and I to come live there. How many people would do that? Not too many that I know. THIS was when I truly learned to love Rocco, Mugsy, Chase and the three thousand plus cats. Oh, it was a crazy-house, but it was fun. We had Brittany's fifth birthday there. Pop drove the tractor as the main attraction for all the kids. Who needs a dancing Barney anyway???? Henry and I mended our fences and got an apartment together in Stratford. Literally, a parking lot away from where I worked. During that time my mom had lost her job at Bradlees which she had for 24 years. They closed down. That really sucked and it hit mom hard too. She had worked at Frank's nursery for a while but that was pure hell for her. She then went to Agway in Bethel which at first seemed appealing. What about Pop? Pop just kept on being Pop. Getting up every day, having coffee, going to work, coming home with coffee, watching the news and the weather channel. On weekends, he would cut the grass or blow the leaves or do little side jobs that he got through his regular job. He just did his thing. I would love when the holidays would come around because he would always buy some kind of a gadget for the house. Either a crock-pot, cake-decorator, rotisserie thingy, whatever. It was just always a gift that was "Popified". 2003 seemed to be going okay. We took my grandma in because she broke her hip. This was a different adventure all together. In general, those three years were not too bad. Sadly, they would be the last of many years to come that were not too bad. |
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| 2004 |
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I guess one could say the year 2004 was a forecast of the years to come. The only thing is, we did not realize it. This was the year Frank was first diagnosed with cancer of the throat. He had surgery to remove the tumor and some follow-up radiation. All was supposed to be okay afterwards. The sad thing is it took many doctors many months to be able to even come to the conclusion that he had cancer in the first place. Frank had a terribly sore throat for many months that he could find no relief for. Doctors know everything? I don't think so. On June 21, 2004 Michelle's paternal grandmother passed away. This was just a little over a week that Peter and Ginny got married. Uncle Michael had come to Connecticut for the wedding. He was also battling cancer at the time. Who was it that said things happen in three's? The day Helen died was Brittany's last day of first grade. Frankie would come every afternoon after he got out of work to see Michelle and sit with Helen for an hour or so. He would always bring coffee. Once he brought a little bamboo plant and a single red rose for Helen. It's amazing as I type and think back of these times. Mind you, not easy times to remember. Frankie was somewhat the only person in certain instances that seemed to "get it", when it came to Michelle. I think he would be the one to say something along the lines of, "Everyone has to let something out of their system sometime". Never judging, just straightforward love. I remember when he picked me up on Dec. 29 from Bridgeport Hospital. Even though it should have been an uncomfortable ride back to my apartment; Pop always had a way to make the most yuckiest situations somewhat funny. He would have such a cute way of telling similar stories in which he was involved. Surely, he could and would take your mind off of your problems. Sadly enough, his problems were only about to begin. |
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| 2005 |
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These last timelines are the hardest to write. Mainly because there was so much heartache in these last years. Sometimes it is hard to look back on times that our mind wants to protect us from. 2005 started off okay. Uncle Michael was diagnosed that his cancer had mestacized to his liver. We all knew this was not a good thing. He also became diabetic from all of the chemotherapy he was receiving. All I could think to myself was, "Why God? Not again, please!". Brittany was in second grade and was still going to Pop's and Grams' house to play on the swings, walk the dogs, see the chickens and complain that Pop overcooked her steaks. Man, did he love her. Sue and Frank were still going strong. They had their arguments, but who doesn't????? I would also envision them both at Brittany's graduations, etc. Those hopes and dreams are gone. In the summer of 2005, Uncle Michael took a turn for the worst. My mom and I flew out to see him in Florida. I for eleven days, she for two weeks. It was absolutely gut-wrenching to see him this way. Especially so soon after watching my grandmother die. My poor mom took it so hard. She would call Frankie every night and he would do one of the things he did best.....listen. He always could be a rock of strength and support. This is just who he was. Sadly, on October 31, 2005 my uncle lost his battle with cancer. It was Pop that called me that late afternoon to give me the news. Devastated we put him to rest. Pop was a Paul-Bearer. He was also Moms' comfort. The holidays were tough, but we got through them. Little did I know at the time, this would be the last Christmas I spent with Pop in Connecticut. One other thing about 2005 is when I ripped part of my ear off and had to go to the Walk-In. Guess who showed up without even being asked? Yep, Pop. Never a question asked. God, do I love Pop. |
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| 2006 |
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2006, what a year it was; both good and bad. It started off somewhat okay. Michelle was able to buy her own first house in New Hampshire in April. Though she was pessimistic about going, it seemed like a good plan. For whatever reasons, she felt the need to leave Connecticut. It was time to move on in many ways. It was a very hard decision to make. I guess sometimes people feel they can escape from the sad, troubled aspects of their own lives. For whatever reason they think the problems will not follow. For the most part it was a relatively quiet year. Frank was very excited about the move. Sue, not that much, and understandably so. In early March, Michelle threw her back out. After a good month of pain and doctors it was discovered she had herniated discs and degeneration of some other discs. As the author of these timelines, I can tell you it was not fun at all. In April, the house was picked out and in May the house closed. These should have been good times, happy times, right? Yes, but not for long. Very shortly after the three moved up to New Hampshire, Frank was rediagnosed with cancer. This time it was inoperable. The tumor was around his carotid artery......not a good thing. His voice was becoming raspy again. He was becoming more and more lethargic, BUT the doctors seemed to not fear at all. Many, and I mean many different chemotherapy treatments were given. Some would shrink the tumor a little. Some, not at all. Occasionally, the tumor would grow some. What it seemed like was that the pieces to a puzzle were not fitting properly. It seemed as though Frank would have to wait weeks before any results were given or tests were ordered. It was as if the hospital had his life in their hands and they knew it and liked it. Needless to say, this was extremely frustrating on those that loved him the most; Sue and Michelle. Neither are doctors, but certain things just did not seem to add up. Frank was able to come up to New Hampshire for one night in July. He loved it! The day he was leaving, he stood in the kitchen looking out onto the deck and started to tear up saying, "I hope I get to come up here again." For whatever reason, at that moment, I knew he wouldn't. His physical deterioration was pretty rapid. Between having pain from the tumor and the sheer hell his body went through with all of the different treatments, it was easy to understand why. What was not so easy to understand was the fact that he complained of so much pain in his arm. Truthfully, it seemed unbelievable at the time. Logic would make one think that any doctor in this day and age would not let someone be in so much pain. Fooloishly at times we thought that perhaps it was just his mind. We were wrong. This had to be an excrutiatingly hard time for Sue. To watch the man she loves go through this agony of both physical pain and waiting for results hoping each time for good news or a miracle. That in and of itself is enough to tax even the toughest of souls. Sue had to take on many more tasks. Not only was she working full time and a part time job on Sundays, she had to do much more laborous work around the house. Frank simply could not. Around November or so of 2006, Sue found out she had her own medical issue. Through the grace of God, she was able to overcome it; but not without a lot of pain and a very strict regimen of medicine. This illness made her incapacitated at times, yet she plugged on. It was almost to the point when one would look at them both, it was hard to tell who was sicker. Thankfully, Sue came out okay. Christmas was quiet in both states. We enjoyed our first Christmas in our new house and Sue and Frank did their thing in Connecticut. Sadly, this would be Frankie's last Christmas with any of us. |
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| 2007 |
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Frank was given to God at approximately 4:30 am on August 29, 2007. He was finally relieved of his pain. He had been in Danbury Hospital in Connecticut for one week. That night/early morning there was a full moon that was so big and beautiful that it simply took our breaths away. This is a day that will stick in my mind forever. For the last year of his life, Frank lived every single day in pain that I do not think anyone could ever describe. A pain that was so unbearable, the strongest narcotics could not take it away. He lost complete mobility and use of his arm because of the pain. The doctors did not give up. They kept on with their treatments, medicines and what not. To no avail. Each week Frank became a little weaker, a little more in pain and a little more secluded. It was not that we feared the worst, it was that we knew the worst. The doctors would just not say. Or they did, and Frank did not want anyone to know. I guess unless you are in those shoes could you say that you know you would tell your loved one's you are dying? Maybe you would. Maybe you would not, to protect them from the pain and knowledge in that. Around April or so Frank was really downsliding quickly. When someone is so sick and so frail, someone should be with that person to monitor them daily. Unless you are a millionaire and have a very strong stomach, this is about as close to impossible as you can get. Sue HAD to work. Frankie WAS very sick. What does one do? Frankie's sister had been coming over with their mother on a fairly regular basis. Frank's sister had many issues of her own with alcohol and substance abuse. I personally would not say they were close because they led two completely different lives. In twenty years, I could count on my hand how many times I saw his sister; actually, his mother too. She is just a whole different ballgame. His sister is like a vagabond. She moves from one place to another with basically only the clothes on her back. Beautiful girl, the world of potential, but a dark evil soul. Slowly, she started staying over my parents' house. She was cooking and cleaning, helping Frankie and truly APPEARING to be a help not a hinderance. To anyone, this was a beautiful thing. I told my mother to let her stay!!!!! If she is helping, do NOT let her leave. It would cost hundreds of dollars a week to hire someone. Frankie enjoyed the company too. Melissa would stay and watch tv with him late at night, make his breakfast, drive him to doctors and what not. For a good month or so things seemed to be working out. Frankie was still deteriorating, but thankfully, there was someone there with him during the day. Probably in late May, early June, my mother would call me all the time talking of how Missy is sick, acting strange, itching herself, rearranging their house to her liking, etc. There were also a few calls I received in which my mother stated nurses would call her to say that Frank requested refills but it is way too soon for them. This made no sense. She was there to help. She was his caregiver. What the heck is going on? Frankie MUST be in so much pain he needs to take more medication than is prescribed, right? We couldn't have been farther from the truth than if the truth was in Japan. The real truth is that it was all a lie. The care, the concern, the love that she showed was not for Frankie, it was for his medicine. She had been for months stealing his opiads for her own use. I could go on and on about her, but I will not blemish my fathers website with her name. Let me sum it up fairly simple. My dying father knew what his sister had done to him. He also knew that his own brother and mother knew what she did to him. It's funny that he told me his biological family could not accept that we considered each other father and daughter. Perhaps this is because I could never do such hideous things to him. As I write this, I raise my hand to God and say that I would NEVER treat a dying animal the way she treated him. I have stared straight into the face of the devil, and it's name is Missy. My only hope is that some day, some way, she realizes what she did and is held accountable for her actions. The last week of Frank's life he spent in Danbury Hospital. He went in on a Wednesday and passed comfortably the following Wednesday. I was lucky enough to see him in his final days. I was able to talk to him, pray for him and make promises to him. Though my heart is so very empty, I would not change anything when it comes to having known Pop. He left me with a lot. Whether it is cute little sayings, funny stories, acceptance, forgiveness, you name it. My daughter had a Pop-Pop for ten years. I consider myself very lucky to have known him. Though it may seem like too short of a time, it was long enough for him to make a lasting impression on me. Something I will use and imply in my daily life. God obviously needed Him more than we all did. There was no getting in His way. I have surrendered all of my feelings to God and I honestly take comfort in the knowledge that He knows my pain. I also know in my heart that there is another angel in Heaven looking out for me, guiding me. There will never be and honestly could never be another Pop. His life on earth was short, but the new life that he is enjoying is endless. Rest in peace my dear father. Know that we love you. Know that we will be okay. Know that each day we are one day closer to seeing you again. We love you. |
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